Underneath the Clothes and Hair - Just Mary

The reality of me getting older has really slapped me in the face this year. I mean like really knocked the crap out of me. Watching my daughter leave and go away to college filled me with such pride but it forced me to take a look at this season of my life.  . I no longer feel like I am climbing up that hill of life I now feel be going down the hill full speed ahead. I mean what happened to the last 18 years of my life ?  It really gets you to thinking about your mortality about what I want to leave behind for the people I love the most.. my kids. 

I take photos almost everyday showing all my fashionable finds and believe me I love it . I have always had a love for fashion it's been my creative outlet , my friend, and sometimes my mask.  So I wanted at least one photo showing that part of me. 

When I talked to my friend and photographer Casey  I told her I wanted this to be more about Mary.  I wanted to capture all sides of my personality and have photos that my kids could have that capture who there mother is behind all the fashionable clothes. 

At first I described this photo as fierce but a friend of my mine made another observation ... This photo says FREE and yes after all these years I am FREE to be ME and will not apologize for it.  

                                                                  

                                                                    FREEDOM                                                                                                                                               

                                                 “The caged bird sings with a fearful trill,
                                                          of things unknown, but longed for still, 
                                                          and his tune is heard on the distant hill, 
                                                          for the caged bird sings of freedom.” 

                                                                                 Maya Angelou

                                                                    

                                                          VULNERABLE 

I wanted to show my feminine side because I am extremely girly  but I also wanted to show my vulnerability and my insecurities because they make me who I am . 

                        Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our
                        lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly
                       as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences
                       that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to
                       explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.         
                                                        Brené Brown

                                                            STRONG 

     

I want my daughter to know that I don't look like what I have been though.  I have been hurt and I have hurt people but it doesn't stop me from getting up tomorrow and trying again. Never give up always stand tall even when you don't feel like it.  That saying " You are Stronger than you think you are " it's so true.  You look back and say " How in the world did I ever get through that" ? God doesn't give you more than you can handle . 

Every human walks around with a certain kind of sadness. They may not wear it on their sleeves, but it's there if you look deep.

 Taraji P. Henson

                    

                                                             

                                                                     DREAMER

It took me 40 years to really have an appreciation for all the things I had viewed as flaws for many years . I am now adjusting to the concept that I am getting older and starting another chapter of my life and I still have dreams and aspirations for my future. I still believe in the fairy tale.. as long as you continue to dream there is always hope. 


            "   There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you"
                                                                  Maya Angelou


                                                             

                                                             MOTHER

I grew up in a single mother household with three younger siblings so I was in charge when my Mom would go to work or school and it was a lot at times. I often said I wasn't going to have any kids growing up but God knew just what I needed.  I was blessed with two wonderful kids and they are by far my best accomplishment. There were times when I didn't always make the right decisions but who does?  The love I had searched for all of my life I found in them . They have loved me at every stage of my  life unconditionally and I am so thankful. 
  

  "You don't know what unconditional love is. You may say you do, but if you don't have a child, you don't know what that is. But when you experience it, it is the most fulfilling ever."

                                                                              Regina King                                                                                                                           

                                                                

                                                  UNAPOLOGETIC 

As a woman in 40's I have really discovered that I am caring less about other people's opinions about me but I am more concerned about how I view myself.  At 44 is totally okay to be vibrant and sexy and to be unapologetic about it. 



                                I used to think 40 was old. Now I think, 'Hey, 40's hot!' 
                                                                        Tracee Ellis Ross               

  

                                                                      

                                                                   

                                                                  FUNNY 

I love to laugh and crack jokes. I think I got that from my Dad's side of the family. My Granny has the best sense of humor at 94 years old I think that's what keeps her young .  She laughs all the time and loves to make others laugh. Laughter is the best medicine for me when I am down. 

Smiling is definitely one of the best beauty remedies. If you have a good sense of humor and a good approach to life, that's beautiful.

Rashida Jones

JUST MARY 

When people describe me they often talk about my fashion or this big ole hair but there is so much "MORE" to me as my friend Michelle Washington says from   Women of More Magazine . 

I wanted this photo shoot with talented Casey Brother of Le Petite Studios to reflect just that and I think she did it perfectly . This was a day that was just about Mary and artistic expression of who I really am underneath the hair and the clothes and me just being Mary 

If  you would like to see behind the scenes footage of this amazing shoot see video below

Thank you so much for stopping by it means so much to me. 

XOXO Mary aka Curlybyrdie